I can tuck mytits in my pants
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Tornado booty call.. dedication
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize