absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
