I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
