it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
