yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
