WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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