It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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