he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
