All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
