You really coming over, don't trick.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
