there's paper in my vomit.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
