i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
