dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize