My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
