Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
