thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Help. Why am I so naked?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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