I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
