Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
