so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
