; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
