i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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