dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
