we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
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literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
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Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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