Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
