Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
