He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
