i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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