ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
and i looked up. we had an audience...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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