i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
