I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
