I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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