I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
