hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
