haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize