i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize