doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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