My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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