we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
