In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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