Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He kissed a someone with a penis
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize