exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Do you have feelings for this penis?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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