im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
