No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
and she was petting her beer can
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
