Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
