Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize