Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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