She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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