Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize