Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Pooping to opera.
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