last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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