North Korea, Best Korea!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
