I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize