We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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