I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
BRING THE BAGELS
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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