I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
