I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
