maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
